Fitness Blog

It’s All in Your Head: Treat vs. Reward

It’s interesting when an idea or specific stumbling block seems to be in the Zeitgeist. Three people have mentioned in the past week the notion of counterproductive reward strategies and weight loss. In Gretchen Rubin’s Better Than Before (mentioned here ad nauseum 😀 ) one of the key points is the idea of “treat versus reward.”

What to do? You’ve been “good” all week. Shouldn’t you have a reward?

Let’s take this step by step. By ‘good’ you mean you ate well and exercised. I would submit the first challenge is attaching moral values to these behaviors. They are certainly good FOR you, but so is flossing and no one thinks they should get to have an Oreo because they did it (speaking of counterproductive!)

“Rewarding” ourselves for a behavior can actually make us feel negatively about the behavior. If it’s good and good for us, isn’t doing it and the results we get ‘reward’ enough?

Let’s flip our thinking to “treats.” I am reminded of Donna and Tom’s “Treat Yo self” tradition on Parks and Rec. Something for you just because. NOT because you did what you feel better doing anyway :). (My favorite comment from one of the people who inspired this blog was that _not_ cheating out of plan was a “mental treat.” She loved NOT sweating the scale or feeling bad the next day. The mental ‘hangover’ just wasn’t worth it to her.)

Don’t earn your food. Period. Think of other ways to “treat yo self.”

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program!

It’s All in Your Head: The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good

Leave a reply

Anyone who has coached with me has heard this paraphrased. It’s particularly important for those who have recently graduated bootcamp to internalize :). As my hero Flylady likes to say, “Perfect is a four letter word.”

Our goal is ALWAYS progress, not perfection.

Aim for perfection, but know that it’s better to overshoot and actually hit then to intentionally aim low!

There is something about bootcamp time that inspires a special focus and attention to detail. People make their own trackers and spreadsheets and have duty rosters posted of whose turn it is to talk the dog while Mom’s at morning class. Living that strictly is probably not a reasonable option for most of us over time. The main idea is to have a long-term goal in place (that may change from time to time as you achieve that goal) and a set of standards you’re using on a weekly basis to make sure you get there.

What is your level?

When will you be exercising?

What is your cheat strategy?

Each of these things do need attention - your girlish figure isn’t going to watch itself, and the plan will not just happen ;). Remember, the only difference between ‘now’ and ‘then’ is that you had an explicit set of instructions to follow. Now you can either choose what worked best for you, OR you can roll right on back to level one. Completely off track? Back to level one with you. Doing level 4 and cheating daily? Back to level one with you :). When in doubt, check in with me or your coach - each of us and all of your instructors have been through the program.

We do NOT expect perfection on the scale, either - just show up! Trying to get back on track on your own before you come back in is a strategy fraught with danger. One of the things that truly sets NGPT apart is the sense of community, and working in isolation means you’re not taking advantage of one of the biggest supports you have .

How can we help?

All the best,

Marcey

[email protected]

It’s All in Your Head - Too Much/Not Enough

Leave a reply

I LOVE seeing before and after transformation pictures and am so grateful for those who are kind enough to let us share their progress and encourage others. It’s intimidating to put yourself out there like that! Often when people know you exercise regularly, they appreciate it, even may express a desire to do it themselves, but feel they are too (something) or not enough (something else) to follow that path. These stories show that the person standing before you has BEEN there, walked (or high-kneed) the walk, and didn’t necessarily burpee out of the womb a model of infant fitness.

Good health is for EVERYONE, and that is our mission at NGPT. There is no age limit, or weight limit; you can be an 80 year old woman or a 16 year old teenage boy. You can have 180 pounds to lose or need to GAIN weight. You can find us on the internet and not know a soul, or may come in with your spouse, sister, child, or whole extended family. You are all welcome and you will get results.

You don’t even have to like it! You just have to have the right motivation to do the work. Witness what Lucy Lawless said about her role on Xena, Warrior Princess:

I do believe there IS a class for even the most ardent despiser of sweat. It may be the instructor, or the music, or the type of exercises, but your niche exists - the Friday night specials are an outstanding way to dabble in classes that aren’t in your regular travels, and you may find a new love (Fighting Shape was a BLAST last week!)

I know I’m really too lazy to want to work out most of the time, but getting it done first thing in the morning before the body even realizes it’s awake is a fine coping strategy. My motivations center around “too” and “not enough” - too cheap to want to spend money on health care for chronic illnesses, and not enough interested in hanging out in doctors’ offices to let myself lose the ground gained over the last few years. I don’t enjoy competition. I DO like beating my own personal records. Find your tribe with similar motivation to yours!

We believe in the power of EVERYONE to change their lives and their bodies. You DON’T have to be Xena or Superman. You just have to walk in the door.

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - The Service Standard

Leave a reply

One of my favorite things to do this time of the year is a six week stint of making nearly-daily talks to large groups of incoming Freshmen and their parents about how best to access care at the IU student health clinic (AKA, my day job!) I LOVE this because, in healthcare, service embodying time and cost efficiency that also makes people feel cared for and not rushed is pretty much the holy grail.

Turns out that’s a good standard for service EVERYWHERE.

How can we BEST serve you at NGPT?

As part of my talks, I review that the old business axiom of “fast, good and cheap” and how you only get to have two? I contend that in most areas of life, you CAN have all three with a little pre-planning.

Fast means no need to hang out waiting at the weigh-in or fretting about class waitlists if you’ve scheduled ahead. It’s also fast results when we follow the plan.

Good - what works for YOU? Level three may be my favorite and you may think you OUGHT to do it, but if you’re not feeling it, then level 1 may be what’s good for you at that moment. Remember - GOOD for you is what YOU can do at that moment.

And finally, cheap (or, as one parent jokingly corrected me - PRICELESS.) My favorite sign at the studio notes the the most cost-effective way to lose weight is to lose each pound only once. Honestly? I’d way rather you take advantage of the 3-2-1 program (3P, 2 weigh-ins a month, and one class a week) and never do another bootcamp, and keep those 30, 50, 100 pounds off for all time, than to see someone for a little while, get some results, have them disappear and return 6 months later. That violates all three! Similarly, please keep your budget in mind when taking classes - we’re thrilled to have you in as much as you want, but it has to be sustainable for you.

Ultimately, the Meltdown is not a diet. It’s a way to eat and move that we hope becomes a part of your life, rather than a one-shot 8 week deal or something we dabble in and out of as class reunions or weddings roll around. Your health thanks you - yoyo dieting is a nightmare on your metabolism. Your one-size-fits-YOU closet thanks you - who wants a range of sizes staring back at them from an overstuffed rack, all but one of them silently accusing you of where you’ve been, for better or for worse? Your mental state thanks you - let’s shed once and for all the identity of someone who worries about our weight and our relationship with food. Make a decision that this IS the new you and never look back.

Remember that EACH of your coaches and instructors also started out as and remain clients. We’re here not because we’re perfect, but because we messed up all the ways you can mess up and still kept going. Let us help YOU keep on the right path.

All the best,

Marcey

Coach Marcey Tidwell is started as a client with NGPT in January 2011. Joining the team as an accountability coach, she wears many hats in assisting the Meltdown Nation! Nurse Marcey by day, she brings a wealth of knowledge the program!

It’s All in Your Head - Priority: YOU

Leave a reply

Recently I read that there is no such thing as a plural for the word “priority.”

Yeah, technically the word exists, but it’s not really a true thing.

We talk about having our priorities, but the definition of the word is, “something that is more important than other things and that needs to be done or dealt with first.”

If you had to choose one thing that is most important to you, what is that thing?

RARELY is it going to be you. In fact, generally only in a health crisis - often following an extended period of the body firing ignored after ignored warning shot across the bow - do we look carefully at our state of being.

I’ve seen most bootcampers in class and back in action since graduation on Sunday - BRAVO! But as we finish off boot camp, I am hearing the pretty common refrain of how it’s a lot more difficult now that we’re not priority one anymore. Most of us ask our loved ones to give us 8 weeks to make some progress. Week nine might be a little dicey! This is the day when boot camp coaches will usually check in to see how you’re doing. If you have slipped to the bottom of stuff you’re paying attention to, let’s see a little love.

I’m not saying that you’re going to leave your sick child to go to class - we all have to do what we have to do - BUT, when she’s tucked in and sleeping, go make yourself a nice Meltdown breakfast. Throw in ten squats when you’re giving the laundry a quick fold. Do some body builders in the living room while the TV is running or if you can close your office door. PACK YOUR LUNCH THE NIGHT BEFORE - while you’re cleaning up from dinner is a perfect time. Mornings are FAR too fraught with potential speed bumps (curse you, non-functioning alarm clock) to leave anything to chance. My non-NGPT email sig line is: “”You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” When I worked at the hospital, once in a blue moon you would receive the joyous call that census was down, and wouldn’t you like to stay home? That kind of manna rarely drops in our laps, but look for small pockets of ME time and jump on them when they appear.

You are the only person who can make YOU a priority. At least try and hit the top 5!

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - LOOPHOLES (AKA Excuses) :)

Leave a reply

I’ve said that if I could buy a pallet of Better Than Before, Mastering the Habits of our Everyday Lives, I would give a copy to every member of the Meltdown Nation. It’s available in multiple formats at the local library, so check it out if you’ve EVER wondered why it’s so challenging to keep going in whatever new habit you’re trying to cultivate, and how to be better.

To avoid being our own worst enemies, it’s important to recognize when we’re trying to slip through loopholes of our own making. While we’ve got DOZENS of ways to rationalize and justify not doing what we know is good for us, this is an excellent breakdown of the top ten loopholes.

Check them all out, but I’m going to pick the top three that seem particular to our specific population for a brief inspection.

The Concern for Others Loophole - this was covered from the other perspective a couple of weeks ago when others may be sabotaging us, but this is when we use others as an excuse to self-sabotage. This was a HUGE challenge this past weekend when many folks were dealing with multiple graduation celebrations and felt like they had to have a token run at the buffet for politeness’ sake. It’s really OK not to have a piece of cake at each of your 5 stops ;). If someone _really_ presses, a reference to your world tour of commencement soirees not helping your waistline will probably be met with empathy rather than an insistence that you have that slice anyway, dagnabit! 😀 If you REALLY need to have something, bring your own veggie tray to share!

The “This Doesn’t Count” Loophole - it’s a special occasion (I reference Jim Gaffigan’s ode to “cake” at the office), or anything eaten in the car is imaginary (this was MY biggest pre-meltdown challenge!) or it’s a holiday (that turns into a holiweek :). Much like we often get the question whether a particular burst of movement ‘counts’ on the fitness tracker (yes if it meets the intervals.) But even if you can’t log it, of course your body knows you exerted yourself - it’s just bonus movement. Same for that unreported (insert your mini cheat here.)

Finally, but possibly the most popular, The Tomorrow Loophole. Today was tomorrow yesterday, so let’s cut out the middleman and just start NOW :). (I know - you’re totally re-reading that 5 times!) At 8:21 in the morning even if you had cake for breakfast, you can STILL rock the rest of the day.

Go forth and be prepared to call shenanigans on yourself anytime you hear the small voice of rationalization tempting you!

All the best as always,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - Habits and Motivation

Leave a reply

We are in week 7 of bootcamp, which can be both an exciting and really scary time for those about to graduate (although I prefer commencement .) You’re hopefully beginning the next step of your journey rather than picking up where you left off 6 1/2ish week ago.

You have developed new habits and the biggest challenge is how to continue those past day 56. To the timely rescue is Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin. In one of the most insightful reads I’ve stumbled across in a while, she nails the four motivation personality types that determine how YOU will respond to post-bootcamp life.

According to Ms. Rubin, motivation and developing of habits is based largely on how we respond to expectations - internal (Questioners), external (Obligers), both (Upholders) or neither (Rebels.)

You know how sometimes you do stuff just because you think it’s expected? Then you are not a questioner. Questioners only form habits if they are convinced of their usefulness or benefits of the habit. You are the people who want to know ‘why’ this and ‘why not’ that. And that’s OK - as long as the person imparting the information gives a compelling reason why or why not. Otherwise you’re calling shenanigans.

Obligers will roll through boot camp because they committed to do it, often signing up with a friend or spouse. They may hate or love it, but they will get up for 6ams, dutifully submit usually perfect logs nightly, but absent some intense connection post-bootcamp, are just as likely never to step in the door again. They do things because someone else is expecting them to or counting on them, but aren’t particularly self-motivated.

Upholders (that’s me!) are influenced by both their own expectations of themselves, and by those of others. They believe in rules and processes and can be kinda fuddy duddies, but they thrive on social connections and have a dual support in developing habits, so even if the spousal unit rolls over and doesn’t want to go to class, they will.

Finally, we have rebels. Rebels probably aren’t going to send their food logs or fitness reports. They will frequently be the hardest working person in class because that’s what they CHOOSE, but if a hamburger shows up, legal cheat meal be darned. Rebels _can_ use their contrarian nature to best effect by focusing on those who think they’re going to peter out, (“I’ll show THEM!”)

I’m guessing you can tell right off the bat what your expectation style is, but just in case :).

Obligers and questioners make up by far the largest portion of the population, with upholders and rebels taking their respective places at the opposite tail ends of the bell curve. Upholders will take care of themselves, and rebels will probably just do the opposite of what you encourage them to, so the biggest benefit we can give is focusing our energies on those first two categories of obligers and questioners.

Obligers - consider a 3P group for ongoing accountability OR tag team with a buddy you’ve met for a regular weekly class meetup. A trio is even better so you’ve got a redundant system in place in case your friend is NOT an obliger :D.

Questioners - you of ALL people need to set up your two week post-bootcamp weigh-in checkpoint, like NOW. You need hard numbers to see what works and what doesn’t as you continue your transformation. Get those nagging WHY and WHY NOTS answered to your satisfaction. Then weigh in and see for yourself.

Keep rocking it and plan NOW for your “what’s next” based on your personality and what’s most likely to motivate YOU.

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - Support or Sabotage

Leave a reply

If you never had someone holding your hand and making you thwack yourself with it repeatedly while telling you (unhelpfully) to stop hitting yourself, you never had a sibling. Ah, memories.

Sometimes when we’re trying to make a change, it can feel like others are not only not helping, but even sabotaging our efforts. It’s important to understand of how deep motivations run. Fear of change is at the base of all other fears. Newness is unknown and therefore anything new is bad and even dangerous as far as our neanderthal brains are concerned (until proven otherwise.) This is the amygdala part of your brain working hard for your survival. Newness in others close to us is also bad because it may affect US somehow. WHY CAN’T STUFF JUST STAY THE SAME???

When we’re determining whether and why another person is trying to sabotage our results, it’s also important to take a look at the (wo)man in the mirror. How much of other people’s baggage are we voluntarily picking up and carrying? While we don’t need to go out of our way to make someone uncomfortable, neither do we need to psychically divine and respond to others’ thoughts about what’s on our plates.

Whether weight issues are primarily nature or nurture, interactions with our family of origin can be the most heavily-landmined terrain to tread.

“Eat! You’re getting too skinny!”

“Don’t you like ____________?”

“I made this special for you.” (Especially when it’s something you haven’t eaten for 30+ years.)

“Everyone’s having some.”

“It’s a special occasion.” (Your two year old nephew will not notice you not eating cake…)

“How long is this diet going to last?”

I just read the coolest ode to a bootcamper’s spouse for being phenomenally supportive. We should all have these people in our corners like Mickey to our Rocky - helping with the kids while you go to class, being sensitive to restaurant choices when eating out, or even noting that it’s coming up on the three hour mark to eat. That’s pretty amazing. Kudos to ALL the families who cheer from the sidelines, or even jump in and play the game. You are helping your loved one become healthier and more energetic for _you_. Because when it comes right down to it, most of our clients consider family their WHY.

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - “Maintenance isn’t Sexy”

Leave a reply

I was going to start this post with a pic of hubby in his snug Tshirt wielding some implement of tree or bush destruction, but after a year and a half in our house, following nearly two decades of apartment dwelling, the bloom is definitely off the rose of home maintenance. It just ISN’T sexy. But you gotta do it. Trimming, staining, bag worm masscre-ing - it’s all part of the joy of keeping the place you live in nice and worth the investment you have made in it.

When you start the Meltdown, like the Love Boat it’s all exciting and new (you’re welcome to my age cohort for that earworm.) You see dramatic changes in pretty short time periods. People notice! Your life is full of firsts - full push-ups, new pants sizes, shopping in “regular” clothing stores. And as we go along and settle into the “new normal”, there seem to be seasons for certain struggles - we expect that the holidays may be hard, and some folks throw caution to the wind as of Halloween and figure they’ll pick back up in January. But we each begin at a different time and mental place, so where we run into the Meltdown equivalent of the “sophomore slump” can vary dramatically.

This is a great article that draws from the author’s book: Foodaholic: The Seven Stages of Permanent Weight Loss . Consider checking it out to move you further along your path from “diet” thinking to “life change” thinking. Losing weight is easy, even FUN - it’s keeping it off that just kinda stinks sometimes. One of the common themes I hear that people have trouble putting into words is “resentment” at having to be constantly vigilant of creeping pounds.

Each of us is born with a certain amount of genetic baggage that will rule some percentage of our results in various arenas of life. It just is, and no amount of frustration about the person who looks like they eat all day and never gain a pound will change OUR situations. And you are not consigned to a life of plain chicken breasts and raw broccoli - there are many ways to mix up food that is good for you and actually makes you feel good. It’s absolutely a toss-up between time, money and taste. I make no secret of the fact that I prioritize time above all else - but if the enjoyment of food is important to you (and there’s nothing wrong with that) you will have to put a little bit of time into preparing it - which I see busy people doing all the time - or the money into eating out. Ultimately, we have to decide that we want to feel better AND look better, and that the fleeting sensation of something crossing our lips isn’t more important than the overarching quality of our lives.

As we cross the halfway point of bootcamp, I encourage you to resist with all your might the “eight week thinking” trap - start preparing now to make this a lifestyle change you can live with. That means not living for the cheat, and understanding that your body, like your home, requires attention that isn’t always fun, but will keep it from falling apart before its time.

All the best,

Marcey

It’s All in Your Head - From Good to GREAT

1 Reply

So Michael and I were dancing at a communal Arthur Murray event this weekend (disclaimer: the above are NOT us as no amount of Nair and spray tan for him or peroxide for me will make that happen) , and like all endeavors, some days are better than others, but overall we were feeling pretty good about our efforts. Then the “pro shows” happen. The people who do this for a living show exactly why they are the teachers and we are just hoping to get a tenth of this going on one day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=29&v=3qd-jM3JRO0

So that’s pretty intimidating! And much like a first-timer or returner to the world of fitness, you’ve got a few ways to respond to that.

(1) Completely freak out that there’s no way you’ll ever be able to do that and be bummed that you didn’t start this AGES ago and wonder why you’re here trying to pretend you can be good at something when there are all these people leaving you in the dust.

(2) Come back over into realityland and recognize that there are ALL levels of achievement. Some people came to the game earlier than others. Some people may be more naturally gifted, and some people have just worked really hard for a long time to make it look easy.

(3) Tell yourself that you are you, and you can’t really compare your journey to anyone else’s, but that with enough effort and focus, one day that CAN be you IF that’s where you choose to put your focus.

Or you might want to go through ALL those steps! Just make sure you end on number 3 :).

We had a coaching lesson with the above gentleman, and in the way of all great coaches, he showed us how we were good, but let us realize what was holding us back from being great.

So when you are freaking out that you might get called to the Golden Mat in FBI, or trying desperately not to make eye contact with Bill when he’s heading in your direction with a handful of weights, or wishing for Kerri to walk past so you can pop up out of that squat and hold really quick behind her back, just know that holding that pose and trying that weight EVEN if you put it down, and pushing just a little harder for those 90 seconds will all make YOU better. There will ALWAYS be someone stronger or faster or more flexible, but keep chasing that dream, and know that you’re inspiring someone else without even realizing who that is.

All the best,

Marcey

Fitness Blog

It’s All in Your Head: Treat vs. Reward

It’s All in Your Head: The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good

It’s All in Your Head - Too Much/Not Enough

It’s All in Your Head - The Service Standard

It’s All in Your Head - Priority: YOU

It’s All in Your Head - LOOPHOLES (AKA Excuses) :)

It’s All in Your Head - Habits and Motivation

It’s All in Your Head - Support or Sabotage

It’s All in Your Head - “Maintenance isn’t Sexy”

It’s All in Your Head - From Good to GREAT

Cancellation Policy

Stay in Touch

Subscribe to Our Mailing List